Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
