Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Someone came in the potted fern
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
