my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Found the puke drawer
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
