I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
