Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
