can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
