Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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