waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
