Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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