Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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