i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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