I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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