grandma shit on top of the toilet
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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