i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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