when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
