just tell him i said nine months
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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