Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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