OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
