Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
