I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Randomize
