I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
