i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
