I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she peed on how many people?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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