Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Randomize
