its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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