i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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