Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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