he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i think i have two assholes
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
