is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
