I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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