He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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