I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
