3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize