her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
