I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
