apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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