She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
