Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
