Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
