I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
