Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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