Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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