It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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