Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
