How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
