Tell her she can't have a vagina
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
