i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
