Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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