The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
