I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
