haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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