If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
