I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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