so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
