I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
