and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so let's talk penis.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
