By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
